scream, I turn around and see a team of baddies shooting at the ship, and I also see and smell lots of black smoke from the bombs. Then I hear another bomb heading towards the ship and I start running screaming "run for you life!".
I am feeling scared and worried for all the patients. I want to jump off the ship into the sea, but my patients need me. I go in and put life jackets on them and help them get out of the ship nice and safe. We all jump off the ship, Then We watch the boat sink slowly, with fire and smoke everywhere.
The water is cold but smooth and is glisening in the light from the fire.
Now the ship has sunk to the bottom, and we are in the dark, but far away we can see some thing like lighting flashes, but that's not lighting, that's all the guns firing and bombs exploding.
we are all holding on the each other in a big group floating, kind of like a small island. We are hoping to get rescued soon. I am feeling so cold my teeth are chattering and i'm trying not the fall asleep.
By Caleb I
Hi Caleb!
ReplyDeleteWow! What an action filled story! I really liked how descriptive your writings was, you have some amazing lines like: "The water is cold but smooth and is glistening in the light from the fire".
The whole time I had such a clear image in my head about what was happening and the panic you were feeling.
This sounds a little bit like a part of a war movie! Did you get inspiration from something you had read or seen?
I think it was also pretty heroic that your character didn't jump off the boat without his patients even though he wanted to ...that's a really hard thing to go against your instincts like that! Hopefully everyone is rescued safely before they turn into icicles!
Great writing Caleb, very impressive!
Ellee :)
Hi Ellee
DeleteYes this was easy for me to imagin because i had just whatched the movie Dunkik with my family, which was just like this story. I am glad you could see it in your head, mum keep telling me to discribe it so that readers can see it.
From Caleb I
Hi Caleb!
DeleteGood to hear from you!
Oh I haven't watched Dunkirk but I just checked out the trailer and I understand why that might give you some inspiration!
Sounds like you Mum had some great advice - it's a good tip to remember with all of your stories :)
Keep up the awesome work Caleb!
Ellee :)